December: Donkey & Yoti’s Green Acres ATX Christmas Update
Donkey: Is it time now?
Yoti: No
Donkey: What about now?
Yoti: I said no.
Donkey: I think it’s time now.
Yoti: Donkey! I said no escapes while all these people are here.
Donkey: But I can feel it in my bones.
Yoti: Well I can see it in their eyes.
Donkey: See what?
Yoti: They watch us. We’re good looking donkeys. We escape, they notice, we don’t get away.
Donkey: But the Baby Jesus needs us.
Yoti: He’s not a baby anymore.
Donkey: Mary needs us.
Yoti: She’s not pregnant anymore, and we’re not Catholic.
Donkey: But we have to represent with all the donkeys of the world. It’s Christmas!
Yoti: Look, I know you want to go on the annual Donkey mission. I do too. We get out, we walk for at least 3 days, reminding people of Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem, how they had Jesus in a stable…
Donkey: …how we carried her and him….
Yoti: …right her and him, and later we carried Jesus into Jerusalem.
Donkey: Nice rhyming. See, we’ve got to escape now.
Yoti: I hear you, but all these people are staying at Green Acres now. They’d see…
Donkey: I don’t think they could stop us even if they noticed.
Yoti: But they’d tell Maria, and she’d tell Ramiro…
Donkey: And how long would that…
Yoti: …actually… you’re a genius.
Donkey: I am?
Yoti: You are.
Donkey: I always knew it.
Donkey: How exactly am I a genius, Yoti?
Yoti: Because they wouldn’t stop us even if they noticed.
Donkey: I think I said they couldn’t
Yoti: It’s a minor detail. None of the guests would try to stop us. We’re donkeys, and they’d be afraid of us kicking or biting, even though we’re incredibly kind and loving to everyone. They don’t know that, and they wouldn’t know what to do. They don’t know that you’re supposed to call Maria right away, and then she calls Ramiro, the only human who knows how to catch us and return us to this slice of paradise we call home. While they’re wondering and talking and feeling bad, we’d be off. By the time Ramiro finds out, we’re long gone, and it’d take him at least 3 days to catch up to us and catch us, if they ever tell him. Time enough for us to complete our yearly Donkey Christmas Mission.
Donkey: Wow. Ok. So now?
Yoti: Tonight.
Donkey: Not now?
Yoti: Tonight. When they’re sleeping. Gives us more time.
Donkey: Ahhhh… more time.
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…3 1/2 days later…
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Donkey: We’re back.
Yoti: Wasn’t it glorious?
Donkey: Getting caught? I thought we were smarter.
Yoti: No, completing the Yearly Donkey Christmas Mission
Donkey: But I thought we were escaping escaping.
Yoti: What? You love it here.
Donkey: Sure. It’s awesome. But we’re donkeys.
Yoti: Yes, I get it, smartest living things on the planet. And just think at how well we get treated here.
Donkey: I guess Maria and Ramiro are…
Yoti: …and all the guests…
Donkey: Ok. Maria and Ramiro, and all the guests, are pretty awesome to us.
Yoti: Yeah, and now we get more apples and baby carrots.
Donkey: And never any lettuce.
Yoti: Right. Just think how much harder that would be if we were on the open road, doing our donkey thing.
Donkey: It would be harder.
Yoti: Besides I’ve got even bigger plans for Green Acres ATX
Donkey: You do?
Yoti: Yep. Weddings.
Donkey: Weddings? For donkeys? Ummm…. we’re both boys. Even if we live in Austin.
Yoti: Not weddings for donkeys, you ridonkeylous donkey.
Donkey: How dare you.
Yoti: Calm yourself, Donkey. Weddings for humans!
Donkey: Weddings for humans? At Green Acres ATX?
Yoti: Look how beautiful it is here. Humans love that. And they’ve got places for their family and the whole wedding party to stay.
Donkey: But what about those huge crowds? We’d get forgotten, especially with the bride and groom and how good they and everyone else look.
Yoti: Nope. We’ll be the center of attention. We’ll get carrots and apples and drinks and who knows what else. Plus, they’ll pet us and take care of us like never before.
Donkey: Weddings, huh?
Yoti: Yep, all we’ve got to do is have one here, with a tent for the reception…
Donkey: Which we don’t have.
Yoti: Yet.
Donkey: Yet?
Yoti: Yet. Which we don’t have yet. But I’ve got a plan to get one and book that first wedding.
Donkey: You do?
Yoti: Yep. I’ll tell you about it later. For now, let’s just keep getting more people to Green Acres ATX.
Donkey: Ummm, ok.
Yoti: Let’s sing ‘em our TV inspired theme song…
Donkey: Again?
Yoti: Yep. C’mon.
Donkey: Allright.
Donkey: Green Acres ATX dot com,
Yoti: Come Glamp in Style the Whole Year long.
Donkey: Yurts, Airstream Trailers and the Lodge,
Yoti: You can even have a wedding here, get your glamping on.
Donkey: We’re the set of a movie.
Yoti: We’ve got Donkey and Yoti.
Both: Green Acres ATX dot com!`
Donkey: You changed it.
Yoti: Had to. We’re gonna have weddings.
Donkey: Can’t wait to hear the plan.
