Donkey and Yoti’s Monthly Newsletter!

August: FREE Nights and Cool AC!

Donkey:  Tell ‘em.
Yoti:  Why?
Donkey:  They don’t know.
Yoti:  We’re donkeys who can email, and this is our Green Acres Glamping Update.
Donkey:  Not that, the offer.
Yoti:  I know. Just jerkin’ everyone’s chain. 
Donkey:  Like normal.
Yoti:  Ok, ok, here goes…

Behold, The August and September Amazing Deal!

Get ONE NIGHT FREE for every night you book

in August and September at www.GreenAcresATX.com

Once you book, just email your confirmation to greenacresatx@gmail.com and we will add a night to your stay!

 We are only doing it because we get slow in the summer months

And Donkey and I need more people to give us extra food

When we’re not planning our next escape.

 PLUS, We have cool AC all summer long

In the Airstream, the Spartan and the luxurious Lodge

Donkey: The one with the floating bed?
Yoti: With the floating bed.
Donkey: Staying in the lodge is like sleeping in heaven.
Yoti: You’ve been to heaven? Always knew you were different.
Donkey: People walk different when they step out of the Lodge
Yoti: That’s not polite talk, Donkey
Donkey: It’s not? Why?
Yoti: Never mind. Can I finish?
Donkey: Sorry.
Yoti: You should totally come glamping at Green Acres. No matter how hot it gets.
‘Cause glamping makes and keeps you coooool.
Unlike camping. Hot and stinky sweaty.
I mean, why camp, when you can glamp?
And with all the crazy July rain we’ve had
Everything’s blooming and blossoming.
It’s as green as green can be.
We’ll keep you glamorous and sweat free all day and night…
As long as you’re inside,
And not doing pilates or calisthenics or whatever kids do now.
Donkey: Tell ‘em about the baby carrots, Yoti
Yoti: You tell ‘em.
Donkey: You’re better than me at tellin’ ‘em.
Yoti: I know. Just wanted to hear you admit it.
When you come, bring us some baby carrots.
Donkey: And some apple slices!
Yoti: Good catch, Donkey. And some apple slices.We love baby carrots and apple slices.
But don’t bring us regular carrots.
Those are for big, dumb horses
That look pretty but can’t taste the difference.
Baby carrots are so much sweeter.
They’re food for super smart donkeys,
Which all donkeys are.
Donkey: i thought they just fit better in our mouths
Yoti: Keep up the illusion of how much smarter we are. Baby carrots are sweeter!
Donkey: Ahh, right.
Yoti: And DON’T bring us lettuce.
Donkey: Lettuce, yuck. Seriously?
Yoti: If you do, we’ll never forgive you. People who eat lettuce are insane or rabbits,
Donkey: And those are pretty much the same thing.
Yoti: We’ll remember your cruelty forever. You’ll be on the Donkey and Yoti List of Shame
Donkey: I like energy bars.
Yoti: Donkey! You’ve tried one?Donkey: Pulled it out of someone’s back pocket once.
Yoti: Never told me.

Donkey: Should’ve seen how high I kicked afterward.
Yoti: I thought we were best friends.
Donkey: I kicked so high.
Yoti: Why wouldnn’t you share?
Donkey: I never thought you wanted…
Yoti: You never do.
Donkey: Ok, ok, Let’s just sing our song and say goodbye.
Yoti: You realize this is an email?Donkey: They’ll hear it in their head!
Yoti: Fine. Start Singing…
Donkey: Green Acres ATX dot com,
Yoti: Come Glamp in Style the Whole Year long.
Donkey: Yurts, Airstream Trailers and the Lodge,
Yoti: So luxurious, get your glamping on.
Donkey: We’re the set of a movie.
Yoti: We’ve got Donkey and Yoti.
Both: Green Acres ATX dot com!`
Yoti: We’ll be sending these emails out once a month. So if you don’t want emails from the smartest donkeys in the world, Just unsubscribe, and we’ll treat you like people who give us lettuce. I’m just joking. We’ll understand that you get too much lame email And ours is far too intelligent for you to comprehend.
Donkey: Yoti, remember your manners!
Yoti: Sorry, that was a bit rude of me. We hope to see you soon at Green Acres with baby carrots.
Donkey: …and apple slices!